It\u2019s a brand-new fresh year. A new beginning! And when have we all felt we
needed hope, dreams, and plans more than now? We\u2019ve all learned to cope with plans falling through, events being canceled, loneliness, and unspeakable loss this year. At the turn of a fresh slate, we crave to hope against hope and step into this new year undaunted at what should come our way. Because the struggle has brought with it resilience. So we\u2019ve sat down, poured our cup of coffee, and pulled out that crisp new, blank planner we were itching to begin. Inside we\u2019ve written dreams, plans, and
resolutions that perhaps this year hold more resolve than ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 then we step away. And something happens. And that familiar yet
crippling self-doubt sets in. What happens when imposter syndrome begins to speak louder than our hope and almost always shouting over truth? It may sound something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\uf0b7 I can\u2019t speak to this\u2014I\u2019m the world\u2019s worst in this area!
\uf0b7 Who am I to serve in this way? I\u2019m entirely unqualified.
\uf0b7 Those who know my struggles will see right through to the truth:
that I\u2019m a hypocrite. What will others do\/say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These are feelings I\u2019ve wrestled with of late. Here I am dreaming and
working towards possibly the biggest dream I\u2019ve ever held: to publish a book on motherhood. Yeah. I\u2019m just as surprised. To brief you, I\u2019m 30. I have 3 kids and the oldest is 5. So, basically, I\u2019ve got this gig all figured out. More like, I\u2019ve been doing this mom thing for about 10 minutes and realize enough to know: I don\u2019t know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As if that isn\u2019t enough, I also struggle with calling myself \u201ca writer,\u201d because no one\u2019s formally invited me to be one! I\u2019m just a stay-at-home mom who escapes to my coat-closet-converted-office whenever I find 20 uninterrupted minutes. Here, I pour out whatever I feel God is teaching me. And then as soon as I step away, I immediately question if anyone else needs to hear it or if I\u2019m the only one. And if they did, would they
want to hear it from me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s more, if my book was on something that was slightly less ongoing
than the rest of my life, I probably wouldn\u2019t struggle so much. But since I fail daily as a mother and have no idea what tomorrow will bring, my emotions can feel like a yo-yo in the realm of hypocrisy. I have quit this book more times than I\u2019ve worked on it. Doubt enters every time feel like I do not have it together (ahem, everyday) and every time my mothering feels like it\u2019s lacking (ie. every moment).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My immediate response to my doubts is to question my authority to speak to anyone on motherhood at all. And the truth is, I have none.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As Christians, there\u2019s a large problem with this mentality though. One, our
understanding of a hypocrite. Who in your life have you ever heard that wants to be a hypocrite? Who do you know that doesn\u2019t really mind the feeling of inconsistency? Absolutely no one I know in any religion, in any age, in any field of interests desires to have discrepancies between what they say and what they do. It\u2019s our very nightmare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s actually a term for this called cognitive dissonance. It\u2019s most often the leading cause of people allowing perceptions and experiences to affect their life more than scripture. Because when we come to a crossroads where what we\u2019ve believed in the past bumps what we feel or do, we
can either turn back and cling to truth or we can try to change it in our minds. Much of the world goes with the latter, and so we see this slow fade away from truth and therefore away from God. Because there\u2019s something in all of us that simply cannot go on with oppositional beliefs. But this does not mean that we will never simply fail, fall short, or have sin despite what we know. The difference here is the choice to continuously turn back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A hypocrite is someone who puts on an air and then does something
entirely different. Or holds high standards for others but never for self. There\u2019s an understanding and a willful choice here. This isn\u2019t a person who laments over wrongdoing and personal shortcomings. It\u2019s someone who never stops to self-assess or listen to correction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In contrast, we have to understand that while we hate it, we will do things sometimes that are the polar opposite of what we really want to do. The bible even says this! Romans 7:15<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don\u2019t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.\u201d<\/em> Penned by Paul, we know even he struggled with this too\u2014the person unquestionably chosen by God to spread his word to the Gentiles (basically to a world who had never truly known God). This wasn\u2019t before he was changed, this Unfortunately on this side of heaven, we will never be fully healed of this. But we are fully cleansed from it. We are fully forgiven for it. And this means we\u2019re also fully called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Look, a hypocrite is an actor. A human being is someone who falls but gets That\u2019s what makes his grace and his love so amazing\u2014that he calls us and uses us anyway. And if we aren\u2019t using our stories, what are we sharing? The purpose of walking through the hard is not just personal refinement, but to be able to point out the roadblocks of those following behind you. Nobody wants to hear from someone who hasn\u2019t stood where they stand. And right now people are standing in struggles. I\u2019ve laughed because after every time I solemnly state I cannot write the book any longer, a chapter is born. WHY oh why can\u2019t a chapter come out of some great thing I accomplish? Some fabulous mothering success I\u2019ve achieved? (One, Only in the hardships when I\u2019ve needed hope so badly and cried out to found it in Him once more have I been equipped. Maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019ve needed more refining. Maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019ve needed humbling. But maybe it\u2019s just because that\u2019s the way God works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider how Paul felt. A Roman citizen and a devout Jew\u2014and one that After God blinds him by the light so to speak, he gives him his assignment: Perhaps by calling us into the very thing we feel the least qualified to serve in becomes our safeguard against pride or idols. In these God callings, we can only lean on God to sustain us and give credit where credit is due. I think it does protect us, but it\u2019s also to reach others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1). Paul seemed the least obvious choice to human wisdom: 2). But he was chosen by God\u2014not as a whim, but from the very beginning: 3). Paul didn\u2019t let the perception of man stop him or wait for man\u2019s approval: Galatians 1:16<\/strong> \u201c\u2026When this happened, I did not rush out to consult with any human being.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n 4). At his obedience, this is what people said: Galatians 1:22-23<\/strong> \u201cAnd still the churches in Christ that are in Judea didn\u2019t know me personally. All they knew was that people were saying, \u2018The one who used to persecute us is now preaching the very faith he tried to destroy!\u2019 “<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n 5). Because God both called and equipped him in a way that no man could claim, this is what happened: Galatians 1:24<\/strong> \u201cAnd they praised God because of me.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s what it\u2019s all about. All we can ever hope to do is bring God the glory, Paul knew before he even began that while it was people he served, people Being Christ\u2019s servant can be scary\u2014it can mean stepping out into places When we remain focused on being a tool for a larger picture and less What is that dream or that thing on your heart that you have been pushing May I just say something? You are the person for the job. So step out in faith. And sure, maybe people will note the contradiction. And they will praise God because of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Blessings, Hallie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s a brand-new fresh year. A new beginning! And when have we all felt weneeded hope, dreams, and plans more than now? We\u2019ve all learned to cope with plans falling through, events being canceled, loneliness, and unspeakable loss this year. At the turn of a fresh slate, we crave to hope against hope and step into this new year undaunted at what should come our way. Because the struggle has brought with it resilience. So we\u2019ve sat down, poured our cup of coffee, and pulled out that crisp new, blank planner we were itching to begin. Inside we\u2019ve written dreams, plans, andresolutions that perhaps this year hold more resolve than ever. But\u2026 then we step away. And something happens. And that familiar yetcrippling self-doubt sets in. What happens when imposter syndrome begins to speak louder than our hope and almost always shouting over truth? It may sound something like this: \uf0b7 I can\u2019t speak to this\u2014I\u2019m the world\u2019s worst in this area!\uf0b7 Who am I to serve in this way? I\u2019m entirely unqualified.\uf0b7 Those who know my struggles will see right through to the truth:that I\u2019m a hypocrite. What will others do\/say? These are feelings I\u2019ve wrestled with of late. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1041,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[67],"tags":[208,311,315,314,316,68,317,74],"class_list":["post-1035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-208","tag-commit2021","tag-courage","tag-focusonstrength","tag-selfdoubt","tag-shelteredingrace","tag-standup","tag-grace"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/shelteredingrace.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Blog-image-e1610198701224.jpg?fit=1440%2C954&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1035"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1040,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1035\/revisions\/1040"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1041"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shelteredingrace.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
was throughout his lifetime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
back up. We have to recognize the difference and cling to this truth, both in
ourselves and in others. Of course we are going to have things in our lives both in the past and present that discount us from doing God\u2019s work, but if we aren\u2019t out here changing daily, what are we doing? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut Hallie, you don\u2019t understand, if you only knew\u2026 I really am the last one to bring hope into this situation. I\u2019ve struggled so much\u2026 failed so much.\u201d Oh, but I really do. And that\u2019s exactly why God\u2019s called you to do it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
because there aren\u2019t nearly as many of those to pull from let alone form a book). But also because\u2026 it just doesn\u2019t work that way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
was highly esteemed. Someone so caught up in self-righteousness that he made it a personal vendetta to wipe out Christianity. He persecuted Christians and the religion they clung to. Even supported their deaths. And even knowing this, we want to say yea, but he is Paul! One of the biggest authors of the bible! To us he is the most qualified! But not to them. To them, he was highly unlikely. He was perhaps truly the last person they\u2019d ever expect or choose. But not God. He looked right through all of that and said, \u201cthere\u2019s my guy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
speaking to the very people group he previously sought to wipe out. How many times did Paul wrestle with that? I don\u2019t know. Maybe it was insurance that he would meet all of God\u2019s divine appointments with humility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Galatians 1:13-14<\/strong> \u201cYou know what I was like when I followed the Jewish religion\u2014how I violently persecuted God\u2019s church. I did my best to destroy it. I was far ahead of my fellow Jews in my zeal for the traditions of my ancestors.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Galatians 1:15-16<\/strong> \u201cBut even before I was born, God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace. Then it pleased him to reveal His son to me so that I
would proclaim the Good News about Jesus to the Gentiles.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
and it\u2019s pretty hard to wholeheartedly do that when our sight is set on what we could lose or what others may think. If it means looking like the most unlikely choice\u2014a source that must be divine to come from such a humble and broken vessel, all the more reason to praise. The people didn\u2019t praise God because Paul was so probable or obvious\u2014they praised God because he wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
whose hearts he yearned to reach, it was never people he aimed to please and never people he was working for. Galatians 1:10<\/strong> \u201cObviously, I\u2019m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If please people were my goal, I would not be Christ\u2019s servant.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
we never thought we\u2019d be stepping \u2013 in places no one thought we\u2019d be stepping. If that\u2019s you, instead of letting that deter you, allow that to be your invitation. That\u2019s where God does his best work. A servant never said he was qualified; he just does the assignment given to him. The job isn\u2019t his because of what he\u2019s earned, it\u2019s his because of who he is serving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
focused an image we\u2019d like to keep, God can do amazing things. Things we and others around us know we can\u2019t claim. Things that will make people feel uplifted and hopeful. You know why? Because people can relate to that. They can\u2019t relate to perfect, but they can relate to broken and to the hope of redemption.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
away? That service or role that feels so unlikely or daunting it\u2019s easier just to say you\u2019re not the person for the job? Perhaps like Paul, the unlikelihood of the situation is the reason you were called. <\/p>\n\n\n\n