When my oldest son (he’s 36) was in fifth grade, he was having trouble with his science teacher’s instructions to put headings on his science notecards. He just couldn’t remember to put his name, section and chapter numbers in the right order on every notecard. It was starting to affect his grade so I suggested we meet with his teacher, Mrs. Culpepper and see what we needed to do. His teacher was my friend and colleague so I thought it was a great idea to resolve our homework stress. “Great idea” was not the first thing that came to my son’s mind. He dissolved into tears and begged me not to talk to her because she “hated” him and she “picked” on him. I tried to console him but my MAMA BEAR was starting to arise in my soul.
God gave us a natural instinct to protect our babies and I always called it my inner Mama Bear when it started to well up in me. Full Mama Bear mode is not rational; it seeks to protect the child at all costs and ask questions later. You Mamas know exactly what I am talking about. There was an uglier incident in AllStar baseball when a mom yelled at him for striking out with bases loaded in a tie game…but I digress…
I called a couple of my mom friends and started to make a case against the note cards. You know you can really make a case against anyone or anything if you try. We mommas are pretty good at justifying. By the next afternoon, I went into that parent conference with my guns loaded and my cowering son. I had him explain what was going on. She kindly reminded him where the instructions were in his binder, how she would check him ahead of time and how the chapters were organized.
She asked him how he was feeling. He blurted out, “I feel like you are stalking me”. She looked shocked and tears welled up in her eyes. She told him that he was one of her favorite students and she knew how smart he was and could master these notecards. He leaned over and hugged her. Whoa…I was ready for a confrontation but it withered away with quiet resolution. I think Jesus brought scripture to life that day from Matthew 18:15. My jumping to conclusions nearly destroyed a relationship. It’s amazing how quickly I accelerated the situation when my Mama Bear came out.
`If your brother does something wrong to you, go to him. Talk alone to him and tell him what he has done. If he listens to you, you have kept your brother as a friend.
Now I had some apologizing to do. I had hurt a fellow teacher and friend. I had stirred up dissension. She graciously accepted my apology but my words had hurt. My Mama Bear had wounded a sister in Christ. I had not kept my emotions in line and I ran off making conclusions based on the perception of an 11-year-old. It is important that we listen to our children and care how they feel but I let my intellect be overcome with emotions. I made something much more difficult than it had to be. I sinned against a fellow teacher.
As we start another school year, please remember teachers are doing the very best they can for your child, many times in less than perfect conditions. Please extend the grace and mercy to your child’s teacher that you want extended to your child. Let our words be seasoned with love and grace. Let the peace of our Lord reign in our hearts. Maranatha!
Jayme
