Vulnerable….

2020…thank you for coming.  I’ve been waiting for you, new year..new beginnings.  This will probably be one of the more “open” blogs I’ve written.  2019 was a hard year.  In fact, things are just beginning to settle.  It was a year of goodbyes, sadness, exhaustion, feeling out of control, and questioning.  It was also a year of faith building, hope, trust, perseverance and growth.

Each year I choose a word to focus on, study and strive to plant into my heart.  Choosing a word this year has been tough.  Some of the contenders were steady, watch, hope and wisdom.  One that kept coming to me that I’ve pushed to another year is vulnerable.  I’m not ready for that one.  Life right now is still a bit raw to dwell on a word that requires even deeper digging.  I’m just not ready.

Vulnerable – susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm;

able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally wounded;

vulnerable to criticism; being exposed.

Recently a friend called and relayed a “less than positive” thought that had been shared, a “heads up” if you will. Minutes later another “something” happened.  Neither of these things were that concerning but…my response…I sat in the car and cried.  Raw…Vulnerable.  A year ago the first would have gotten an “oh well” and the second would have just been accepted at face value.  That’s what being vulnerable does to you.  You feel exposed…raw…

These are the times Satan is lying in wait for.

  “Be alert and watchful. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

1 Peter 5:8

Make no mistake sweet friends…he is lying in wait…watching for those moments of weakness that cause us to doubt ourselves, our faith, our relationships, our God.  Satan wants us to feel vulnerable to this world we live in.  Doubt is a powerful tool in the hands of our enemy.

Doubt – “a feeling of uncertainty”

Our enemy is waiting for just one tiny crack of uncertainty.  That moment in time when we question ourselves or forget the power we have through HIM.  Satan is lying in wait for ANY opportunity that will give him a foothold into our lives.  He will use every weapon at his disposal…Satan doesn’t play fair.  Doubt / Vulnerability…I have to believe these are some of his favorite tools.

Matthew 14:25-30a  pp …and Jesus came to them, walking on the sea…, “they were terrified…they cried out in fear.  Immediately Jesus spoke to them, “…Do not be afraid.”   So Peter said, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  He said, “Come.”  So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, he began to sink…”   Doubt, fear…vulnerability.  Satan used these tools against Peter and he began to sink.  BUT, what happens next is what we need to focus on.  vs. 30b-31 “Lord, save me.”  Jesus immediately reached out His hand and took hold of him, saying, O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Doubt met POWER and POWER WON!

Isaiah 40:28-31

“Do you not know? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting  God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Everlasting…Creator of all…Tireless…Understanding…Giver of Strength…These are words that describe the God we worship…the God who gives strength.  The God who keeps us rooted and grounded in His love, His mercy, His grace.  The God who holds me tight when vulnerability strikes.

2019  brought many challenges in many different forms.  Challenges that took away a comfort that had become too comfortable, contentment that had become a bit too passive and a strength that had become too dependent on self.

2020 is still a question mark but this will be my prayer…

Ephesians 3:14,16-20 (in my own words)  “I kneel before you Father…I pray that out of Your glorious riches You will strengthen me with power through Your Spirit…so that Christ will dwell in my heart through faith.  I pray to be ROOTED and established in love, to have power…to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love you have for me, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  You are able to do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine. Let YOUR power work through me. To YOU be the glory forever and ever! Amen.

Rooted – “deeply seated”…that’s my word.  That is the word that will prepare me for whatever 2020 brings…that will prepare me for vulnerable.

Listen to His Voice,

Lee Ann