Some time ago our President gave a speech. A man and a woman were sitting behind him. It was painful to watch. The man sat there stoically and never flinched. The woman was a bit more uncomfortable. It was obvious, she DID…NOT…WANT to be there. She fidgeted, looked away, looked up and looked down. Sitting there watching it unfold I had a thought. “How awful it must be to be her.” If she acts respectful – 1/2 the country will hate her. If she acts disrespectful – the other 1/2 of the country will hate her. (ftr…I’m not using the term hate loosely here).
So…being the “over-poster” on facebook that I am…this comment was shared. “I would hate to be the woman sitting behind the President tonight.” I thought it was clever, cute and funny. Men have to shave, fix their hair and wear a good tie. Women on the other hand…it’s a whole different story. The right color clothing, hair that doesn’t look “helmety” but won’t move, perfect make up, no lipstick on your teeth, ect. Truly…there was not a worse seat in America for her that night. Especially when you DO NOT WANT to be there! What I thought was a witty remark was… until the comments started… condescending, not funny, rude comments about our Speaker of the House.
The intent was actually one of commiserating with what she must be going through. The result however was anything but.
And herein lies the crux of my thoughts. Regardless of the initial intent of my post – where did it go? Was it encouraging? Did it show proper respect for the leaders of our country? Did it lift others up? Did it reflect the person I want to be? But most importantly, did it encourage others to “be their best”?
It is so easy to get caught up in the moment – to type out that passive aggressive comment (been there) or reply with a passionate argument and hit send (done that). It is easy to read someone’s opinion or belief and shred it over social media because we don’t have to look them in the eye (or often times ever meet them). It is easy to not hold ourselves accountable because we are hidden from view. But…we are not hidden from view. God knows every thought. He knows every word that comes from our lips…He knows every intimate detail of our heart. He knows who we surround ourselves with and how we allow our friends to treat one another – or complete strangers.
I started the thread- it was on me. In the book of Romans, Paul shares with us a few thoughts on our responsibility to those we love.
Romans 12:16,18 “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty …never be wise in your own sight. If possible, as far as it depends with you, live peaceably with all.”
14:13b “…decide to never put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”
14:19 “…let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”
15:2 “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.”
I had to ask myself…Was I a stumbling block to my friends? Yes. Was I encouraging peace? No. Regardless of the intent, did my original statement build up my neighbor, my friend? No.
Then question number two…Was I living up to my responsibility to His Body?
Philippians 2:3-5 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
We have a responsibility to our friends and fellow Christians. A responsibility to put others before self. A responsibility to consider if our words are encouraging or a stumbling block. A responsibility to consider if we are encouraging those we love to “be their best them” or providing an opportunity for satan to slip under the door.
Can we have hard conversations? Of course. Can we have passionate discussions and differences of opinion? YES! Can we do so respectfully? YES! A Washington friendship illustrates this beautifully. Justice Antonin Scalia once wrote of Ruth Bader Ginsburg “I attack ideas. I don’t attack people. Some very good people have some very bad ideas.” Later that same year RBG wrote this, “How blessed I was to have a working colleague and dear friend of such captivating brilliance, high spirits and quick wit.” They chose to argue passionately…believe differently…and behave respectfully.
Each one of us have the freedom of choice – but we must always remember to use that freedom as an opportunity to love and serve one another. Galatians 5:13pp
I choose to not be a pawn in satans’ game of division.
Listen to His Voice,
Lee Ann
