Several years ago, one of my students kept falling asleep in class. It was frustrating. He was a kid who had a reputation of being “tough”; not one of the other students would cross him. Because of the “stigma” that came with him, I took his sleep habits as being disrespectful.
UNTIL…
We had a parent conference. Little did I know he was babysitting his younger sister late at night so his mom could work (single family). He wasn’t getting sleep. He was having to act as a caregiver so that their family had money to survive.
Suddenly, the “sleeping” in class made sense. Suddenly, being the tough guy made sense. Even though some of what was going on were behaviors that were not okay, we could approach them from a “not treating the symptoms but the cause” and we saw results quickly.
In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah came to the temple crying. Evidently the sorrow had completely overtaken her enough (the Word describes it as bitterness of the soul and wept in anguish), that Eli accused her of being drunk and encouraged her to “Put away the wine.” Little did he know she was barren. Little did he know that Peninnah had been tormenting her for years due to not having a child.
The truth of the matter is–someone you are struggling with may..
- have an an ailing parent.
- have a child that is making poor choices.
- could be waiting on a diagnosis themself.
- may not know where their next meal will come from.
- may have had a disagreement with a spouse.
- may be entangled in sin.
- may be the only example they have been shown at home.
Through their grief, through their torment, they may be reserved and you may feel ignored. They may be bitter and come across with “toughness” or “meanness” to situations. They may bite your head off.
You have a choice in how you respond–will that choice bring Glory to God?
One of the fruits of the Spirit is gentleness. Strong’s defines it as: “This word refers not to a virtue that encompasses only a person’s words and countenance, it refers to the virtue that pervades and penetrates the whole nature that mellow anything harsh and austere. It is that virtue that is gentle, charming, and calm, suited to the company of all good people, attracting their friendship, delightful in encouragement, and moderate in manners.
Does this define you?
Hannah ended up “spilling” her guts to Eli and he told her to go in peace. We may not have that scenario in situations when we deal with people. We may never know, or we may never get a second chance.
The virtue of gentleness is very important–it is a virtue of our Heavenly Father that we must imitate.
“Come to me, all who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29
Gentleness takes out “competition”. It takes out “eye for eye.” It puts in comfort. It puts in humbleness. It puts in peace. It allows me to forgive because any offense towards me it not anything compared to my offenses against God. And He has forgiven those (Matthew 18:23-35).
This year, I have a group students for the second year in a row. On one of the first days of school, I asked them a simple question.”What is something that you wish I knew about you?” Their answers were authentic. Their answers opened my eyes. If I would have known some of these struggles last year…I guarantee you my response to them in certain situations would have been much more gentle. May I, with them, respond and lead with a “Less of Me, More of Him,” attitude. May I choose to be gentle with not only them, but my own kids, my spouse, and others…gentle… just how our Heavenly Father is with us.
Anchored to Him,
Leigh Ann
