But __________ gets to do it? Why can’t I?
If you haven’t heard those words come out of your child’s mouth, the time will come. For most of us, we have experienced it.
The fact is our children–from the time they hit school-aged to the time (well, let’s be honest here–adults)…this is a battle we will face.
The fear of rejection.
The fear of not fitting in.
The fear of missing out. (FOMO)
It is real. Satan knows how to maneuver around prowling like a roaring lion ready to devour. He uses the thought of loneliness and abandonment against us. He uses the world’s standards to make us think these have to be our own.
It leads to low-self esteem and low self-worth.
It leads us to think we are inferior.
I carry scars. Real scars. Almost 35 years ago, my first very vivid memory exists. We were at the table on Friday snack day drinking chocolate milk and eating some kind of sweets (that part of the story has faded). I had just returned to school from the horrible chicken pox. My birthday party had been canceled. I didn’t get to see my aunt because she had never had them yet. It was rough. When I returned, the illness left scabs over my body, and while sitting at the table, one of the little boys told me they were ugly. I was crushed. I hadn’t been at school for a couple of weeks and this is what I returned to. Rejection.
So I went home…and picked. And now at almost 40, I have the scars on my forehead to remind me of that day in Kindergarten almost 35 years ago.
I get it; I was 5 or 6. But, how different my forehead would be if I would have chosen to be “brave”. If I would have gone against what the “world” said. Not worry about what someone said about me. Focus on being designed by the One True King. A Creator who doesn’t make mistakes.
Or in 3rd grade when Keds were in style with the blue label on the back of the shoe and I had “fake” ones. Or the Guess jeans with the triangle on the back pocket. The Silver jeans, designer purses, the car….
We want to be accepted. We want to be “the in.” We may be even be tempted to be the cool parent. We may not want our kids to suffer the rejection.
And now…we struggle with the Instagram vs the “Finstagram” world. The Instagram: the one we want to be seen as vs the “finsta” where we “post” things only a certain group of people would care for…
But we are called to be different. (Romans 12:2)
Who we may want to be accepted by may need to be evaluated. Are you living for acceptance of the world–in which you never know where you stand? Or are you living for the One that has already “accepted” you and sent His Son to die for YOU!
Are you living to be “chosen” by a certain group of people? Or are you living for the One who has already CHOSEN you?
Real questions to ask ourselves as we journey here “under the sun”. The Ecclesiastes writer tried about everything and found nothing but emptiness in these things.
He left us with this:
“Fear God and keep His commandments. For this is man’s all. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
Some of this will come with rejection. Some of it will cause some pain. But this isn’t our home. The world’s standards should not be ours.
This may call us to do some “hard things”. This may cause us to be brave. Doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest. We may be called out of our comfort zone. We may need to “clean-up” around the place. That may mean some going back and saying to our children, “You know, I made a mistake. Let’s rethink that decision” This may call for some no’s.
Our eyes should be fixed on Him. The one who came to overcome the world. (John 16:33)
May we cling to the exhortations Paul gives in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14:
“Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all you do be done in love.”
Anchored to Him,
Leigh Ann
