Have you ever lost touch with a friend? Or, the question could be – How MANY friends have you lost touch with? Then facebook came into our lives and VOILA…friendships rekindled. What was lost has been found.
A few years back one of those sweet friends came back into my life. We caught up through facebook and soon realized we were going to be in the same town and would be able to catch up in real life – face to face.
We met, hugged, laughed, ate (you have to eat!) and had the best time talking about the paths life had led us down. Very different roads had taken us on very different journeys. Neither was better or worse than the other…just different. Those journeys and subsequent experiences cause us to see life from very different perspectives.
Politically, I am confident we are (at a minimum) 379,547 miles apart. And that is ok. She is my friend and I respect her. I believe she has considered and studied and come to her beliefs through honest thoughts and intentions.
Not one time has she indicated I might be “less than” because we do not see things the same way. Not one time have condescending remarks been made or I was questioned “HOW COULD YOU!?!”? Not once has she ever attempted to make me feel small because we see things differently.
In this politically charged atmosphere we find ourselves at odds with not only strangers but also with dear friends. Friendships are being severely tested because of an inability to respect those with differing opinions.
We seem willing to forget years of history, memories made, battles fought and secrets shared because our lives have taken different paths. The treasured gifts of friendship and fellowship are damaged because we are struggling to get past our own sense of “self righteousness”.
I’m not the biggest fan of Wikipedia but their definition of self-righteousness hits the nail on the head. “Self righteousness, also called sanctimoniousness, and holier-than-thou attitudes is a feeling or display of moral superiority derived from a sense that one’s beliefs, action, or affiliations are of greater virtue than those of the average person.” (Luke 10:30-37)
Are there things good friends may see differently that are scripturally right or wrong? The simple answer is yes. However, that is not an excuse to disparage, mock, attack or consider ourselves superior.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
Love does not require agreement. It does however require us to be clothed in the likeness of Christ. One of the many lessons we learn from Christ’s interactions with those he taught and interacted with was his ability to demonstrate love regardless of the circumstances.
1 Corinthians 13 is perhaps one of the best known chapters in the Bible for its’ teaching on how we are to treat one another. (notice scripture doesn’t limit who we are to apply these words to)
(4-8,11) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
Love endures all things, unconditionally…period. This doesn’t mean we have to agree or sit silently without stating our beliefs. It does mean we must make the choice to love others with the love of Christ. Why?
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
1Corinthians 10:31
So, practically speaking, how do we protect and nurture friendships when worldly thoughts threaten to destroy?
- We listen to one another.
- We choose to be honest and transparent.
- Don’t be afraid of having hard conversations.
- Acknowledge what is heard even if you disagree.
- Have faith in the One who is in control of all things.
- Love unconditionally.
There is a lot of noise in this world we live in. When a friendship is built on mutual respect and honesty, nurture it…guard it. Remember the words of Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” That is unconditional love.
Listen to His Voice,
Lee Ann
